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Haricotes Flambes en Chien
Don't try this at home

From the editor of the Skeptic 19(2), 5, Winter 1999

Empty contents of can of baked beans into saucepan on high heat.
Place two slices of bread in toaster.
Run to answer telephone.
Explain to caller that noises heard at night are probably not aliens bent on abduction and vile experimentations.
Deny you are part of a worldwide conspiracy to conceal The Truth.
Repeat denial in monosyllabic terms.
Dispute at length.
Return to smoke-filled kitchen.
Extinguish blaze.
Give charred remains to dog.
Go out to lunch.

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